Saturday, February 27, 2010
自己为什么要哭，我知道自己很不坚强，我不该哭，而且还在很多人的面前哭，我很没用。
不是说了要放弃吗？为什么还要对他的往事群追不舍呢？自己明明知道想他，忘不了他，但总是固执的说自己可以放弃他，还说一辈子不想见到他，这个不坚强的我可以做的到吗？
本以为这样我会好过，我心里会平衡，但还是如此，心里的包袱还是放不下，爱上一个人这么的容易，难道忘记一个人就这么的难吗？我很后悔我不该爱上他，两个 人已经走到了不说话的地步，难道就这样一直走下去，做不成情人就真的不可以做朋友吗？有谁可以带我走吗？离开着深锁我的忧愁，我真的很难过，很想哭，为什 么爱一个人会有这么多的麻烦，真心的付出就一定会有收获，这句话说的是真的吗？为什么我真心爱他带来的却是源源不断的伤和痛呢！我不明白上天为什么要和我 过不去，难道真心去爱一个人也会有错吗？他永远忘不掉他最爱的人，但他为什么要辜负一个最爱他的人呢？他就那么不会珍惜一个人对他的付出吗？我的眼泪是为 谁而落，我的心是为谁而痛，他永远都不明白，也永远不会知道。
我爱他，他爱她。这就是结局，我们永远都是不可能，他如果真的爱她，那也只好放开手吧。也许他和她在一起才有幸福，他们才是天生的一对，我们不适合。
放开手 ，放开心。这样他才能真的得到幸福。
i dont wish to go.
这一个月来，我不知道我的心被割了几次
不知道流过了多少血
也不知道它移位了几次
我的心还是那么那么痛
Friday, February 26, 2010
i flipped through my secondary school stuffs and i found this graduation poem i found in sec 2.
so now i shall dedicate this to my class DEWT 01 =)Moving on and meeting new people
Seems like the most interesting thing
New buddies, new galpals
A whole new world to explore
At first, tears neer came and overflowed
All there was was excitement
Laughter, amazement and gladness
For the final year in high school's about to be uncovered
But during the last days, things changed
Memories and good times of the past shone
Clouded out minds as we thought of leaving
While all the emotions altogether brewed
All of a sudden, tear-floods overflowed, unmanageable
Rivers of crystalline tears mixed with sobs
Reminiscing the past seemed to be hard
To grasp the thought was unbearable
"Why do I cry?", I asked.
I always wanted to leave. didn't I?
"Can't wait to get out of here" were my initial words
But why and why now are my questions
Sadness creeps in and heart full of sorrow
As i sat with clouded eyes, still crying.
Nothing will be lost, I thought
All's well. I'll look forward to tomorrow
All of these are foolish things to say
Foolish... fooling myself is what I'm doing.
All my friends and teachers that I've known
Cannot be replaced in any way
Sure, new experiences will come.
But will these outshine the old ones?
Love and understanding have grown for three years
Hard to comprehend why it's all ending
Life goes on, they say.
But now all I want is life to be as it is
Joy fills my heart in this place
Nothing more to ask for, I prayed.
Goodbye.. goodbye... final goodbye
In these last few days of woe and sorrow
Tears mixed with laughter echoes through in the halls
As the cover closes in the final days of this chapter
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
the more i think of it. the more i feel sad about it.
anyway this post is not about you.
EVERYTHING GONNA BE OVER!! ~~
AND IT'S THE END =D
in less than 24 hours time, some of us may be out of the room. HAHA
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
无法否认
不过有时真的感到有一点的委屈
haiz. 还是一意孤行比较好，不需要其他人的意见
要不是我是女子。。。 。。。
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
难道我真的不能打动你的心吗？
it is really not as easy as i think i could.
这边的我感到的那么悲伤
那边的他却深深的爱上了另一个人
CNY 2010 =)
everyone rushing to hug to cai shen ye. HAHA
GAMBLER!!
ytd was TKNP cny visit.
:( did not get to see melvin and leong hock.
but still i enjoyed myself.
did not know qihao can sing that nice. HAHA
more singing kakis next time.
the guys' signature pose.
i dont know why my head was tilted.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
原来一切都是虚假的
是我自己幻想出来的
WHY AM I SO DUMB SO SO DUMB??!!!!
i misunderstand everything....
SO ALL THE WHILE 我都在一厢情愿！
我都在欺骗我自己我会有希望！
一切都是我的幻想！！！
我心好痛好痛啊！
一直在流血啊！
Monday, February 15, 2010
i dont understand why i have to breakdown in public.
i was talking to him randomly and happily. when we came to the topic again.
he said he wants to have a gf. but he cannot commit.
so i asked him why.
because he IS IN LOVE WITH ANOTHER GIRL.
because he cannot love me. because his heart is not with me.
oh great. so i misunderstood everything since the last time i confessed to him.. (21st Jan)
HE CANNOT COMMMIT BECAUSE HE IS IN LOVE WITH ANOTHER GIRL.
oh damn. im so stupid. im so dumb. i allowed myself to get involve in this MISERABLE LOVE TRIANGLE.
so i asked him. if the other party was to accept him. he will be ready.
OH PZ YOU ARE SO STUPID. SO DUMB. YOU SHOULD GO WASH YOUR BRAIN AND DAMN BLIND YOUR EYES.
FOR BEING DEAF AND BEING BLIND AND BEING STUPID NOW IS THE BEST WAY TO CONCEAL YOUR SADNESS.
MY HEART IS BLEEDING... PROFUSELY.
MY HEART ACHES
MY HEART IS BROKEN
MY HEART IS SHATTERED. INTO PIECES.
FALLEN PIECES.
I WANT TO CRY BUT I CANT SHED ANY TEARS NOW.
Friday, February 12, 2010
she got rejected by him on the 12th Feb 2010 early morning.
he said he was very sorry. it's not possible NOW. we cannot be together.
i realised i only tears when i typed this down. but when i saw the msg, i actually felt relieved.
i still cannot let go. i cant give up.
我不舍得就这样放手
我做不到
我喜欢你太深了
我无法放弃这一切而离去
我真的没有那一丝的希望吗？
我真的无法占有你的心里的那一小块吗？
我好想知道你有没有喜欢过我，对我有没有那一点的好感
我不能让你知道我在哭泣
我不知道当你说你不希望看到我伤心时是什么意思
是因为你不想感到内疚吗？还是你是真的关心我？
为什么？为什么？为什么？
我心里好像在滴着鲜血
你就像在我心里留下了一个很深的一道疤
它将永远的在那里，提醒我，我被你拒绝了
为什么这一次我被拒绝得心好痛，好辛苦
感觉心就像被砸橙子机砸烂了我的心似的
我的心感到好痛，好酸，好苦啊！
你是否真的不能给我一个机会？
我只希望你能让我在你的身边。。。 。。。
我不知道我可不可以站起来，继续的向前走
我只知道，至到我能找到我可以爱他多过爱你的人，我是会仍然喜欢你的。。。 。。。
"MY LIFE(MY LIFE), WOULD SUCK(WOULD SUCK) WITHOUT YOU"
SEE LA! ced and eileen were practically screaming when singing this song.
and it keeps playing in my mind now. HAHA
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
there's so many movies i want to watch!
1. Hachiko: A Dog's Story
2. 14 Blades
3. Little Big Soldier
4. 72 Tenants of Prosperity
5. Dear John. (i cant wait to watch this!)
Sunday, February 07, 2010
很多时候，本想看淡的一些东西，却又时常想起
很多时候，给了自己希望，却得到了失望
慢慢的，心也麻了
一个似有似无的感情，该让它自己放纵？还是努力珍惜？
也许不应该太感性
可是，没想到坚强的我，会因你而变得好脆弱
Saturday, February 06, 2010
well, just as i guessed, it makes sense.
05022o10. definitely a day not to be missed. =)
Friday, February 05, 2010
if the journey time was longer.. .. ..
Tuesday, February 02, 2010
i had a dream.
a dream i hope it will never happen.
because i dream of zy and clara.
and yes the thoughts of it still makes me disgusted and feeling sad.
maybe i should not expect too much.
for higher you pin your hope up high, the higher the chance you will stumble and fall.
how i hope he can spend my birthday with me.
how i hope he will eat dinner with me.
how i hope he will surprise me by standing outside my door steps.
so it's all wishful thinking on my part.
am i too demanding?
there's something wrong with everyone these days.
hmmmm.. ...