everytime i goes out with Zi Yang, whether is it alone or with someone else.

I will come back home feeling very horrible.

I will get so moody.

I get irritated with myself.

BECAUSE I DONT KNOW HOW TO CONTROL MY FEELINGS!

DO I STILL LIKE HIM???????????????????????

why cant i put down the past or rather PUT DOWN THE FEELINGS and MOVE ON WITH MY LIFE?!?!?!

i feel so weak emotionally whenever i see him.

AND I CANNOT BEHAVE AND BE MYSELF WHEN IM IN FRONT OF HIM!

i care too much about how he feels towards me.

AND i dont like it when i feel jealous whenever he talks ABOUT SHARON AND HUI ZHEN!

argh!

MAYBE THAT'S THE REASON WHY I LIKE TO BE ALONE.

Yes i do want to watch Karate Kid yesterday

AND YES i do want to see him.

BUT YET I FEEL SO LONELY WHEN IM THERE.

i feel transparent. non-existing.

i dont know.

i feel that im keeping myself away from them.

i just want to stay away from them, im in the dark, they under the spotlights.

maybe i should have walk away and never turn back. but i know i cannot.

i hope im still able to stand up straight and walk off again.

he isnt worth you getting upset PEIZHEN!