It suddenly dawned on me that getting old is very scary.
I was scare out of my wits this morning. My dad called me while all of us were sleeping. Asking me to wake both my sis up, hurry wash up and go to my grandma's place. At that moment, I was already thinking of the worst.
I know I'm not a filial granddaughter. I did not visit her when she was hospitalized for three weeks. The only time I went to the hospital, I realized I did not being my ic nor ezlink, hence the staff did not allow me to go up the visiting ward. So all these weeks, I just hear from my dad that grandma is feeling good inside, and that she is still bubbly talking. So I just assumed she will be back home soon, safe and sound.
While on my way to my grandma's house, tears blurred my eyesight and flow freely down. I know I should not be thinking of the worst.
I saw grandma lying on the bed, so weak and bony. I greeted her, to let her know my sis and I had come to visit her. I was feeling scared, really scared...
All I hope things will get better. I will still like to see her every sat when I go up for dinner, she sitting at the dining table with us.